Missing you

My Evangeline,

Yesterday was a hard day.  All of the emotions of my missing you surfaced and I couldn't contain them.  I know that you are with God and I will see you again but it does not take away the fact that I miss you.  I began to clean up a room that had things from the past in it.  In there I found clothes that I had worn with you. I found the outfit that I wore the last day that we shared as a "normal day".  We went out to eat with your Godmother and shopped.  It was a great day.  I couldn't stand to look at the outfit for too long.  It hurt too much.  It was like looking at something that you had worn.  I don't know that I will ever be able to let go of that outfit.  For now, I won't worry about it because I know God will lead me there when the time is right.  I thought about the first time that I felt you kick.  Those memories are so tender and sweet to me.  I am grateful that I was able to experience that and able to know you.  Yesterday was a bad day but I know that because of God sending you into my life I will have many more good days to look forward to.  Even so, I will miss you until I see you again.

Love,
your mama