When you were with me I was confident in who I was, I was your mom. My purpose was to take care of you and share my life with you. Although life around me was unstable, I personally was stable because I knew who I was. Now that life around me is stable, I am not stable. I am not sure of who I am but I do know my purpose. Because of God revealing himself to me, I know that my purpose is to have a relationship with him. To know who he is and who I am in his eyes. I am more than a daughter or a friend, I am his creation and made in his image. I've struggled a lot this week with the realization that I've been rejected by people and how that has impacted me. Those wounds were there but I did not realize how deep they were until now. They really have affected who I've been and how I act. I've been praying to God for his help through this and what I've heard is that he accepts me and will never reject me. He has never left me and never will. That is why it is important for me to get to know him more. He will give me the strength and self-confidence that I need to heal. When I had you I was confident because I had to be in order to be the best mom that I could. Now that you are not with me, I am struggling with that because I have no motivation but myself. What a concept it is to be your own motivation and God being the driver of it. I have the desire to go where God wants me to and this is what I being revealed. I no longer have to please people in order to gain their acceptance. I am accepted by God and that is all that will ever matter. Thanks to you my angel, I am finding myself in God.
I love you so very much,
Your mama
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