Another milestone

My Evangeline,

I passed a couple of milestones this past weekend. It was one year ago that we had taken a trip to Cancun. You were just a tiny little baby with me on the beach and in the ocean. I was essentially alone but not completely. You were with me and I did my best to enjoy the vacation with you. I spent this weekend with friends and family. I had a great time but you were not far from my thoughts.

There are chapters in my life that I realize I need to close. I started to go through old clothes that no longer fit me and I don't wear. Some of those clothes I wore with you. It was very emotionally hard to gather those things and give them away. It's another step in my accepting that you are gone, that our time together ended. It doesn't mean that I will ever stop loving you, it's not possible. But it does mean that I need to close that chapter in my life and let you be at peace. Step by step I am healing and letting out the pain that I still have.  The pain that will probably never go away but I know it cannot be ignored. I know that I need to go through the pain in order to find peace.

I love you and miss you every day,

Your mama