Ailey bear

My Ailey,

I received your "Molly bear" yesterday.  It is the cutest little bear with a minney mouse dress and made to weigh as much as you did.  I am also participating in a walk for NILMDTS next weekend with family and friends in your memory.  All of this makes me happy but also reminds me of what happened and that you are gone.  I keep thinking about how I felt when I was told you weren't going to make it.  I keep remembering the feeling of deep pain and the horrible realization that I could not do anything to stop it.  Not one thing.  It is awful and something I will carry with me.  But I also remember the time that God allowed us to have with you.  We were told we weren't going to get that time with you but we did.  It was the best two hours of my life and I treasure it.  As your anniversary approaches I am sure that I will be filled with joyful memories as well as painful ones.  But I will rejoice in your memory and in God.  And I will remember your purpose and be grateful for what I was given.

I love you baby,
your mama