Last Halloween

My Evangeline

I was remembering what it was like for me last Halloween.  I wore a costume showing off the little baby that was growing inside me.  For a lot of people at work that was the first time they found out I was carrying you.  I was so happy to be celebrating with my baby girl.  We passed out candy together and although in the back of my mind I could tell something was wrong, I enjoyed it.  We had a scary movie going on tv, ate some pizza and greeted the kids.  I told you that from there on out it would be me and you passing out candy.  Of course eventually I would be taking you out to get candy.  That thought brought I warm feeling over me and still does. 

I had no idea how different this year would turn out to be.  No idea.  I have mixed feelings at times because I feel the great loss but I also feel joy knowing that you are with God.  It's so strange to have those two things at the same time.  It can send my emotions in all types of directions.  But I pray about it and somehow God brings me peace.  However I know that I will miss you until I see you again.  I'll continue to keep your memory with me and the joy that you gave me.

Love always,
Your mama